Body Talk

So, I have this friend who pretty much obsesses over her body. She has a very A type personality so its pretty easy to understand how she got to be somewhat obsessive. She will not go out of the house without makeup on. I mean we literally went hiking and she put makeup on... At those rare time when she doesn't have it on, she compares herself to some of the worst things I've ever heard someone compare themselves to. Just yesterday, we went to Starbucks after running some errands and we were dressed in running shorts and t-shirts and she saw someone she know(a boy-I have a whole other story about her obsession with boys but that's for another day). When the guy left she turned to me and said "Of course I would see someone i know when I look like I got hit by a bus."
What? Did you really just compare yourself to a seriously injured person because you aren't all dressed up and only wearing a little makeup? I told her she was wrong, of course, but she never listens. She said this to me one time when I told her I think she doesn't need makeup all the time, "You never know who you are going to meet. What if you meet your future husband?"-yet another example of our society teaching girls that men/marriage should be their priority. Anyway, I shot back at her "If he doesn't like me like this(without makeup, that is), then I don't want him." I totally get that if you want to wear makeup; YGG-you go girl or boy! I wear makeup. I like playing with different eye shadows and lipsticks and eyeliners sometimes. But I don't wear makeup everyday because sometimes I really just don't feel like it. And let me tell you, I knew nothing about the world of makeup before I came to college. I only started wearing it my senior year of high school- with the exception of Lipsmackers and my mom's lipstick sometimes- and even then I didn't wear it everyday. I honestly didn't even know that some of my friends wore makeup. And people usually don't say
anything about it unlike what a lot of people think. If people do notice and actually say something, it's because society has taught us that it's okay to comment on women's bodies and say whatever we feel like. When these comments are positive rather than negative, we say it's a compliment. Let me just tell you, it's not. I might say thank you if a friend tells me they like my outfit but I will not respond to some random guy on the street who says I'm hot. I don't care what you have to say about my appearance. I don't care whether you think I'm an ugly bitch or a sexy bitch because guess what... This is MY body and I love it. I love it's curves and lumps and bumps. I love my features like my eyes and brows and lips. I love my nails that I constantly am painting something new on(I do nail art). I love my legs even when I haven't shaved in a while during the winter. I love that it works-most of the time. I love that it exists because without it I wouldn't be here. But most of all I love that it doesn't define me. We need to teach girls that their bodies are not the most important thing about them. Their bodies are a part of them, yes, and we do need to teach everyone- not just girls- to keep them healthy. But a healthy body is not what is being shown in the media today. Healthy bodies are strong and beautiful. Healthy bodies may have a little extra flab or none at all. Healthy bodies are not all the same. I wish my grandma had told my mom that when she was young because she believed she was fat and I assure you she wasn't. She was fit because she played badminton so it's possible she had some muscle, mistaken by my grandma to be "fat." I wish that I didn't have to fight to tell my best friend(the one I mentioned earlier) that she is beautiful exactly how she is. I wish that this wasn't an issue in our culture. But it is. Our society has its priorities all kinds of fucked up with this one. We need to be nurturing children's minds and not pushing them to have a certain type of physical exterior. For every woman, man, girl, boy, or anyone in between out there, I am here to tell you that your body is beautiful because it is here on this earth. I am here to tell you that, more importantly, you are here and that's the most amazing thing I've ever heard.