Healthy Relationships

Do you think the reason many women stay in abusive relationships is because of the romanticization of violence? I am in no way saying that women are responsible if they end up in an abusive relationship. But what if the reason they think they should stay is because in some weird twisted way, they think the violence thrust upon them is some form of a romantic gesture? Think about it for a sec. Think about Twilight which meets every single criteria of an abusive relationship. Yet, we romanticize it. Think about Fifty Shades of Grey, which is not BDSM like so any think but is also an abusive relationship.
 

These relationships are not about love and romantics like most readers think, probably like the authors think too. They are about control and abuse. Our society has grown so accustomed to saying things like "Boys will be boys" and "Oh, that just means they care" that when it comes to actual abuse, it's no wonder we confuse it with love. People say jealousy means someone cares about you. I've never felt this way, ever. Jealousy means they don't trust you and want to control your moves; I don't care what they say. If they really cared about you, they wouldn't be jealous at all because they trust you and want you to do the things that make you happy. If they say something like "I want to hang out just the two of us" ...all the time, that's not sweet its possessive. If they comment on your appearance in a negative manner, they are not just "trying to help you" or "showing they care," they are abusing you emotionally. Sometimes it's really hard to recognize these signs because our culture has come to see many of these things as romantic gestures. Basically, if its not physical abuse, then its not abuse. THAT'S NOT TRUE. There can be emotional or psychological abuse, verbal abuse, sexual abuse, financial abuse, stalking, and even digital abuse now. Often times these can overlap such as using digital abuse or financial abuse to also cause emotional harm. Why our culture has romanticized these thing, I will never understand. But it needs to stop. And if you EVER feel uncomfortable in a relationship, try to get some help as soon as possible. Go talk to a friend, a therapist or call a hotline like 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE). Know that whatever is happening is not your fault and you can always do something about it. Understand that any relationship can be abusive, not just a domestic relationship with a partner. And boys/men are not the only ones who commit abuse, just as women/girls are not the only ones who are being abused. That's why I say of you ever feel uncomfortable, get help. And in protest to the abusive relationships feature in movies and in honor of healthy relationships, I will not be seeing Fifty Shades of Grey. And I encourage you all to do the same. This type of behavior is not okay and shouldn't be tolerated. Happy #healthyrelationshipweek and a happy, healthy Valentine's Day too! <3